Saturday, November 14, 2015

It’s Just Words…

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    Not to brag or anything, but I’m damn good with words. I’m a writer. I trained for this. I went to… Ya’ know… That place and I got my degree and everything in English and creative writing. So words are my thing. And I know lots of words. So when I’m at my… umm… typie thing here, I can write and sound very smart because I don’t have to use the same word over and over. But I’ll admit to being a bit slow when I… Ahhh… do this that I do. I never learned to type. Or use this board thingy… What’s this called? It’s really sensitive. Anyway, so because of that, I make mistakes and have to correct them a lot. But I’m still really good with words!
    How was that paragraph to read? Easy? Did you understand my meaning? Or did you find it frustrating with the spaces and blanks? Well. That’s what it’s like for most of us to be able to get through a day of conversatin’ with others when we have “Brain Fog” or the more clinical term “Cognitive involvement”. Most autoimmune diseases cause it. It can be from the disease itself, such as Fibro-fog, or from one of the many medications we take such as Lyrica. Lyrica is notorious for causing Brain Fog. I used to be on it so I know it well.
    But I’m not on Lyrica anymore and it still happens. And it’s annoying. It happens Even when I write. And I have to sit and wait to figure out the word I want. Not just the right word for my sentence but the word itself. Like the other day when I wanted one of my kids to vacuum the living room and I couldn’t remember the word ‘vacuum’. I was staring right at the vacuum cleaner pointing! Of course, they gave me no help what so ever. And I understand the whole idea of this happening as we age. And yes, I am turning (UGH!) 50 in April. But this isn’t age. Age is when you can’t remember who played the villainess in the James Bond movie ‘Notorious’. (It was Grace Jones) This is forgetting the word ‘plate’ or ‘toilet paper’ or ‘pen’. When these objects are right in front of our faces. And it makes us feel stupid.
    You see, I feel like there are fuzzy, little monsters hopping around in my brain instead of sharp, electrical bolts of energy streaming from place to place connecting words, thoughts and sentences. Not that little, Fussy monsters aren’t endlessly fun and adorable. They are known as Galarples and are the cutest creatures on the planet! (for proof and the chance to own your own fuzzy, little monster, Visit But Fuzzy cuteness doesn’t help us find the words we need when we need them. And not finding our words gets frustrating. (But watching the little fuzzies hopping around in my brain is pretty enjoyable… Am I off topic here?)
    And what’s worse, not finding our words makes others believe we are inept and forgetful. And we are certainly NOT inept though we may be forgetful. But that is not all the time. and we still deserve a chance. Like My 83 year old mother insists I am the forgetful one in our relationship. it really angers me because although I am forgetful; she is as well. I May be closer to her level of forgetfulness than I want to admit, but I am not there yet. Especially now that my medication load is much less. And I truly understand that she may not want to admit her own forgetfulness and Brain Fog as she ages. It can be scary and may be very frustrating to her. It is to me. But it still doesn’t mean I get to carry all the blame. We just BOTH have fuzzy, little Galarple monsters in our heads! And that I can accept.
    So next time you are out with your autoimmune friend and the bouts of Brain Fog set in, ask them how many fuzzies have shown up today. You can laugh it off with each other and move on. And then all of us with this issue don’t have to be embarrassed anymore.
We can blame the GALARPLES!

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